so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
