check it out our google latitudes are spooning
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
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