saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Randomize
