the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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