I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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