Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
pray to the hookup gods
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
