hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
