The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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