Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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