I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
