let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
17 year olds will be the death of me.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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