how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize