writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
