im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
