I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
