Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
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