I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
