Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
