I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Randomize
