my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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