I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
