Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
foreskin is a definite game changer
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
My boob is missing a layer of skin
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
