pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
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