I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
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I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
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I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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