You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
How naked do you want me to be?
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
