fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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