turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
