Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
