Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
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Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
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My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Congratulations! We have a period
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