Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
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