Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
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Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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