Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
