Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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