Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
