do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
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