Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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