she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
