Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
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