Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize