sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
