FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Randomize
