He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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