escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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