I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
