Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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