first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
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