dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
