nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
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