I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
jump out the window naked night went bad
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
