and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
