And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
