i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
