Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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