Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
one two three fourrrrnication!
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
