dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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