All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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