that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
