i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I need a hoe opinion
go on
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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