I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
