Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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