I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
