there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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