Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
